Time Warp

Wow! That’s all I can really say about this week. Where did it go? How could it have slipped away so quickly?

No worries though; that just means I’m another seven days closer to R&R – 23 and a wake up!!

I’ve heard all about the unexpectedly cold winter hitting the east coast. Pretty sure we’re stealing some of your warmth over here in Afghanistan. I’m enjoying the afternoons, which have been in the 50’s. It’s a much welcomed relief from the bitter cold mornings and evenings. However, these offices, which are partially tents, have little insulation. When I get into the office around 0530 it’s only 45 degrees. I imagine South Carolina’s climate will feel amazing after living in the desert. Four seasons? What is that you speak of? We only have two – hot and cold.

Once again, my schedule has taken a turn. Since I stopped going to the DFAC at lunch, I decided to try using that time for the gym. Jackpot! This arrangement works out amazingly well. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? There are only a handful of people in the gym, so I never have to wait around for equipment. The showers are nearly vacant; compared to the lines that form in the mornings and evenings. Perhaps best of all, no more feeling as if I’m a member of the polar bear club. Walking back from the office in full attire, jacket, hat, and gloves is no big deal. But in shorts and a t-shirt, the trip to the gym, tent, shower, and back was numbing. No longer a problem!

So everyone tells me that G’vegas isn’t what it used to be. That’s good news for me; makes being away easier. However, I’m sorry for the old crew that has dwindled down. What happened! I think we all just have our own agendas right now, none of which are align. People are getting married, having children, starting new jobs, in grad school, or just plain burned out. I miss all of you dearly, but in a weird way this has been a nice escape from the norm.

I’m already beginning to catch the “bug” around here. Apparently in this environment you either love it or leave it. If things continue to go as well as they have, I believe a second year is in the works. Everything will be complete once housing improves. After a taste of international vacationing on R&R, I might be ready to sign the contract extension. In reality, that decision won’t be necessary for quite some time and I’ll conveniently procrastinate until then.

College Football, oh how I’ve missed you! Finally, I was able to get my fix by watching part of the National Championship. Not quite the same when you’re eating an omelet, drinking OJ, and surrounded by hundreds of strangers in a DFAC. The third quarter was interesting enough to keep my attention, even without having a favorite team involved.

Now, for a bit of comedic relief; not sure how well this story transfers onto paper, but here goes…I head to the housing tent after my shift, talk to the guys, do some reading, and then it’s bedtime as normal. Hours later I’m suddenly awakened by a loud noise and rumble. Initial thought, this isn’t incoming – roger that! I roll over and look at my clock, it’s 0200. Jets taking off at every hour imaginable are nothing new; however, I’m convinced they are testing the world’s loudest jet at this very moment. My ears are ringing; tent and cot are literally shaking. Several seconds later the noise fades away and the rumbling subsides. I quickly settle back into the sleeping bag and drift to sleep.

Whaaam, something hits my leg and I nearly jump out of my cot in reaction. Adrenaline kicks in immediately and my pulse begins racing. You are asking yourself right now, WHAT was the cause for such alarm? I’ve yet to figure out exactly how, but my neighbor’s foam pad launched over with enough force to wake me up. You laugh, but it’s true. I’m laughing at the moment just thinking about it again!

My simple mind cannot even fathom how a pad, on top of which he was sleeping, gets propelled like that. Once I woke up, again, and realized what was going on, I noticed he was still on the top half. Inexplicable!! Suffice it to say that I was officially awake at this point.

To my defense, this just illustrates another phenomenon that develops when stationed on a military base. The human body’s adaptability is resilient. While I’m sleeping away, it knows that a jet taking off (well, most jets anyway) is normal and not threatening. On the contrary, a whistle followed by a boom is an incoming rocket and reason to say, wake up now!

Okay, so this just happened…popcorn is very popular over here. Someone popped a bag that turned out to be bad. Not burnt, just bad. Never heard of that, but ok, I’ll trust their judgment. Naturally, they threw it away. Minutes later, another coworker walks in and begins looking for a snack. Once the bag of uneaten popcorn was spotted, she removed it from the trash and began eating it. After everyone realized what just happened, they explained it was bad; yet she still had to test it out herself. Seinfeld reference anyone? Remember when George does the same thing with a partially eaten éclair? Priceless!!